Well… One thing everybody in ‘the system’ knows – it ain’t you, the targeted parent (‘TP’)!
The child is not in charge, because the authentic voice of the child is not heard. In PA cases, the child simply is a conduit for the words of the alienating parent (‘AP’), a view parroted, more often than not by CAFCASS, which is why ‘wishes and feelings’ reports are completely useless and should be abolished.
Many judges will then parrot what CAFCASS say, and refer to CAFCASS as the ‘eyes and ears’ of the court – bad enough that we have the blind leading the blind…we seem to have the deaf leading the deaf as well! It is a very disturbing thing to witness your child repeating the AP’s words, then CAFCASS doing it, and finally the judge…is there an echo in here?!
Now, there is the odd judge who will be robust. Who will know the failings of CAFCASS and Guardians ad Litem, and not be afraid to say so. And will ignore silly reports and recommendations from woolly-headed social workers. Mrs Justice Parker is the obvious candidate, in re H:
“I am in no doubt that I am entitled to disagree with the view of both the Guardian and the social worker, both of whom, although expressing their own views forcefully, recognise that the decision is for me, having surveyed all the facts and depending upon the findings that I make. I disagree with them because they have not taken into account the degree of parental manipulation …”
In my opinion, these words could legitimately be repeated in a majority of PA cases.
So, if the authentic voice of the child is not heard, if CAFCASS and the judge merely parrot the child’s expressed wishes and feelings, and if those are the wishes and feelings of the AP…
The Alienating Parent is in charge.
It’s like the AP is the bully in the playground, and the judge and CAFCASS are the cowardly kids that follow the bully around like a pale shadow, repeating the bully’s threats, saying at every turn “yeah”.
We must call for judges to be the supervising teacher in the playground, and to pull the bullies up and discipline them! But of course, this does not happen. Judges at all levels simply do not enforce court orders, and APs just get away with ignoring the authority of the court, and encourage our children to do so…Mrs Justice Parker again…
“I regard parental manipulation of children, of which I distressingly see an enormous amount, as exceptionally harmful. It distorts the relationship of the child not only with the parent but with the outside world. Children who are suborned into flouting court orders are given extremely damaging messages about the extent to which authority can be disregarded and given the impression that compliance with adult expectations is optional”
Clearly, we need to get together and raise some funds to clone Mrs Justice Parker and put her clones in every family court in the land. A radical solution, yes, but it’s got something going for it, no?
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